Caylee Marie

Okay so I have been watching the news lately & its just breaking my heart into pieces. I mean stuff like this happens all too often, but this particular story caught my interest more than others & has completely shattered my heart. For those of you who don't know anything about this I'm going to try my best to explain. & I will even post links at the end of this blog to news stations who will probably explain it better than I will. But from what I have caught no one but the mother(and maybe even the grandparents, who knows right now) knows how long this beautiful little girl has been missing. The mother has lied numerous times to police as to when she last saw her daughter & even I guess lied to her parents along with her brother. She told her mother at first that she knew where her daughter was & That she was at a sitter, or something along those lines. But I heard last night that she told her brother that she hasn't seen Caylee for like 31 days or something like that. Now I'm not going to go into too much detail right now because as I said I will post links & They will explain it better than I could. But Honestly, apparently her & Her lawyer have told police that she will tell them things if she is granted immunity?????????? HOW THE HELL are you going to do something like that? If you know ANYTHING about your child WHY would you NOT tell someone?!?!?!?!?!?! Unless of course you did it. I also heard last night on Nacy Grace(I kind of sort of love her! she is the only news show I watch) that a cadaver dog hit on a scent inside the trunk of the mothers car(which apparently, if I caught right, the mother abandoned) Which for those of you who don't know(because at first I didn't get it either) they are dogs that are taught to pick out the scent of human remains, or fluids from dead carcass'. I'm not too sure what to comment on about that. I hope & Pray to God that this little girl is alive & Safe, but after that, its heartbreaking, simply heartbreaking. She is a beautiful little girl & if you go to her website helpfindcaylee.com/ there is a darling video of her reading a book. There are so many lies & holes in this whole story, I don't know who is covering for who, or who is telling the truth. But from what Nancy reported that an ex-boyfriend of the mother was on the phone with her sometime late June & said he heard Caylee in the background. Which threw everything that the police were going off of out the window, but I guess it doesn't really matter that much since they don't really have much to go on anyway.

But anyway the point in my blog, is that I have NO idea what happened to this little girl(as I'm writing this I came across an article stating someone said a girl matching her description boarded a plane going to Atlanta) & I don't think anyone but more than likely her mother does. I have a 2 year old nephew who I call 'my baby' because he means the WORLD to me, I don't get how you could ever harm a defenseless person. I don't get how you could harm anyone, let alone a small little child. I'm sure we will find out what happened to this beautiful little girl, I just think it will shock the hell out of everyone. Now whether that means she is alive(Which I Hope to GOD she is)and her mother is just somewhat not all there, or it means something horrible happened to her. There is so much not right about this whole thing... and I only hope they find something out soon....

Links to Stories about Caylee

Grandma says mom knows who has missing Fla. girl

Caylee Marie Anthony Disappearance Timeline

Cops Fear Mom Killed Missing Florida Toddler

Grandma: Caylee Anthony last heard from on Tuesday

If you want any other articles all you have to do is put in "Caylee Anthony" into any news stations website or even on Google or Yahoo's search engines. Or you can watch any news station CNN, FoxNews, or My Fav Nancy Grace.

If you go to the website I posted in the blog itself, it gives you addresses & phone numbers if you have ANY idea where this beautiful little girl is. One can only keep hope & prayers that this little girl will be found safe & sound.

The opinion in this blog is stricktly that of ME, I live no where near where this is happening, I'm stricktly writing on what I have caught on the news.

I'm Sorry... Part Two...

For those of you who are on my myspace, got a glipse of the whole "I'm sorry" blog back in March I believe it was, here is my second go of it, this one is sort of in the opposite direction of the last... I might post that one later on here so those who didn't read it can :)

I'm sorry I degraded myself because you didn't like me, when maybe it isn't me that has the problem...

I'm sorry I fell for you when you put on the 'perfect man' act...

I'm sorry that your friends use you, and you don't seem to care...

I'm sorry I wasted my tears & Prayers on something that was never going to change...

I'm sorry that whenever I hear of something bad my first thought is that your okay when it doesn't even seem to matter to you whats going on in my life...

I'm sorry that I expected you to care a little bit...

I'm sorry I made your life more difficult...

I'm sorry your friends seem to find it funny to make fun of you, when before I use to be the one to stick up for you, but now I'm not there to do it...

I'm sorry you probably cared but were too stupid to admit it...

I'm sorry I have resorted to calling you stupid...

I'm sorry its hard for you to do something as simple as picking up a phone...

I'm sorry that I really expected anything of you...

I'm sorry that I've come so far & am so close to hating you, but I don't want to...

I'm sorry that I have to be sorry...

I'm sorry that you are blind...

&&I'm sorry you blew it...

Happy 4th Of July!

4th Of July, a Day for Families & Remembering

My morning was filled with fun with my three nephews & Little brother. We had a picnic lunch in the park near my house. As I watched Justin run from one part of the playground to the other I couldn't help but think of my grandfather. && How much he loved running around with the boys, them always pulling his finger to take him places. How he laughed when they did something funny. My grandfather surved in the army. Along with my other grandfather, who I also think of during this day, that grandpa has his own set of problems. He passes out all the time without any notice & no doctor can find out whats wrong with him. So today for me, isn't just remember those currently surving(which I am), but its remembering those that surved not so long ago, but are now faceing another war, their health. Watching the parade, the veterans are my favorite part. Those walking & Those riding in cars. My heart melts when you go to the store & they are sitting outside with their little buckets asking for donations & they give you those cute little flowers, I always wind up giving them 5 bucks, because they all remind me of my grandfather. I'm not too sure what they do with the money, but I know its for a good cause. && I know I would do anything for my grandfathers, & they always give me the biggest smile as they hand me those fake little flowers, that is reward enough for anything. So I ask as you spend your day however you are spending it, whether it be a cookout, going to a local fair, or just spending time with those you love, Please not only remember those currently surving, but those who surved in the past. Because without them, we wouldn't be where we are now.

My Other Half

One thing that bothers me about a lot of people, is when I mention my other half their response always is. "OMG you realize shes a female right?" No I hadn't noticed. See to me the term "Best Friend" is made for those friends that you stay up late at night with laughing about the stupidest stuff, you have a few things in common & you laugh about the things you disagree on. They are there when you need them & help you when you ask. But what about that one friend who knows somethings wrong without you saying it. The one who not only helps you when you ask, but helps when you tell them you don't need it. The one person who is willing to listen to all of your stupid drama & tells you it isn't really stupid & helps you with it anyway. Or the one friend who is thinking the same thing you are about just about everything. The one who tells you things that you don't want to hear, but you need to hear anyway. The only one who will tell you it isn't your fault & doesn't tell you to just get over something because they are sick of hearing about it. Someone who pulls you out of the slump you have been in for over a year & is willing to help you dig yourself out. Now all my rambling on & on is that the term Best Friend doesn't fit my other half. It isn't a strong enough word. She is the best friend I have ever had & has helped me way more than I ever thought someone else could. So enough for me rambling, just kind of wanted to say it :)

The Secret life of the American Teenager

After watching one episode of this show I am completely hooked. Being a teen myself I can relate a lot to whats going on, but it isn't just for teenagers, Parents too should watch. I can't wait to see what happens between 'Amy' & 'Ben', just the way he stood up for her at that dance thing was so sweet(and really so unlike most high school boys! haha) I really like how 'Amy''s friends relate to her & help her in her time of need. One of the things I didn't like is neither of them were willing to give up their after school activities to go with her to the doctor. I know I for one if my best friend came up to me & told me she might be pregnant at that age I would have dropped everything to go with her so she didn't have to go through it alone. But my major problem with the show(it isn't really a MAJOR problem, its the ONLY problem I have with the show so far) is that all the kids talk about is Sex. Now I get that its the 'secret' life of teens but seriously people that is not ALL kids talk about. Heck when I was 15 sex was apart of maybe 12 percent of our conversations. Yeah we had boyfriends but sex was something that was looked down upon at that age. Now when we got into Junior & Senior year of high school it was talked about more but still not as much as these kids are talking about it. Now I know when I left High School the kids two or three years below me were doing it more & with more people than what we did, but I found it absurd & really trashy on their part. When the kids my age & those older had 'sex' it was with one person not 'lets see who can sleep with the most people' game. Even now at 19, its looked down upon to sleep with that many people. But maybe thats just my small town, or my circle of friends. But what do I know. But anyway back to the point in the blog, if you missed the first episode you didn't really miss all that much, so I recomened tunning into Next week's episode, Tuesday @ 7 PM(CST) on ABCFamily

Goodbye.

GoodBye to Wishing you would just understand.

GoodBye to hoping your name would flash across my phone.

Goodbye to crying myself to sleep because you just don't care.

Goodbye to calling just to make sure you are alright.

Goodbye to wondering what might have been.

Goodbye to wondering what you are doing.

Goodbye to you always being on my mind.

Goodbye to those awkward conversations.

Goodbye to hoping I could just have my friend back.

Goodbye to wondering what that look in your eyes means when you stare as we pass each other.

Goodbye to hoping for a wave just once as we pass each other on the road.

Goodbye to the tears like the ones flowing from my eyes as I write this.

I never thought I would get to the point where I would accept that you were not going to be in my life anymore. I didn't think I would ever survive. They always Say you never forget your first love, the love where you care more about them then you do about yourself. The feeling that you would give up your life if you were guaranteed they would never feel an ounce of pain or an ounce of sadness. Love is the greatest feeling in the world, but it hurts like hell when things come to an end. I'm a strong believer in 'Loved' is not a word, its either you love them or you never did. The love you have for someone will eventually grow weak if they leave your life or you chose to leave their's, but when you run into them 5, 10 or 15 years down the road, you will feel its presence again. Goodbye is forever & right now you are not in my life, but I will never say Goodbye to you, because I still hope one day we can go back to the way things were. But you just get to the point where you can't do things anymore, you just have to give up. One of the hardest things you will ever learn to do is to let go...

My first Blog

I decided that randomly blogging on myspace wasn't cutting it for me. I don't really have many people on the list that actually care what I write, so I figured I would try this out for a while & see how well I liked it. I get bored sometimes so sometimes I just like to write, it helps get a lot of anger/sadness/bitterness out of me. So we shall see how it goes! :)